Alien Customs
by Pixie Child
Summary: She'll have to thank Mitchall after she kills him.  SamTeyla


**Fandom**: Stargate SG-1/Atlantis  
**Pairing**: Sam/Teyla, mentions of J/R & D/J but not really.  
**Timeline**: Sometime after they start sending ships back and forth? I don't know.  
**A/N**: Yes, this is screwy. Especially since I can't watch SGA without cringing. But mostly because I want to smack Rodney upside the head. But Teyla's not Rodney, she's just a ninja. Who does slow-motion sceans.  
**Beta**: Insane Vampiress  
**Disclaimer**: Not mine. I play with other people's toys.

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"Is this some sort of joke?" The Athosian blinked.

"I don't understand."

"This." Carter's arms waved between the two of them. "You hitting on me. Did Colonel Mitchell put you up to this?"

"Yes." Sam's eyes widened even further at the blunt admittance.

"_What_?"

"Colonel Mitchall informed me you 'had it bad' for me yesterday after the briefing. I asked Colonel Sheppard what it meant and he explained that you-"

"_You told Sheppard what he said?_"

"I didn't understand what he meant and then when I asked Doctor Jackson, who simply choked on his lunch--"

"You talked to _Daniel_, too?" Sam could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate. Her career was over. Any minute now, an airman was going to hull her into a holding cell and have her court-marshaled.

"--So John seemed like the best choice to consult. I don't understand the problem. Was Colonel Mitchell mistaken?" Teyla looked genuinely confused.

"Yes! I mean, no, but that doesn't matter."

"I can see why Rodney liked you." The nonsequitur of the remark threw her off balance for a moment.

"What?"

"You are speaking in circles, like him. And John."

"What I meant is, even if I did have...feelings, it wouldn't matter. There are rules. Women in the military aren't allowed to have relationships with other women." The Lieutenant Colonel rolled her eyes, despite herself. It wasn't the time to debate the ethics of military policy.

"I know. 'Don't ask, don't tell.' Lieutenant Ford explained it to me when Rodney and Colonel Sheppard informed us of their relationship."

"It's a little more complicated than that. If the brass back in Washington found out, it wouldn't matter if I went around talking about or-- Wait. What?"

"I don't understand."

"Rodney. And Sheppard. In a relationship."

"Yes."

"Right. Okay." She paused to let it sink in, her mind going back to the rumors about Daniel and why General O'Neill chose to leave the Stargate program. "Maybe the 'gate does have a side effect after all."

"You're not making any sense, Colonel Carter."

"Sam," she absentmindedly corrected Teyla. "What I'm saying is, Earth isn't as...open-minded as your people. If anybody found out, I could lose my job."

Teyla's lips twisted into a slight smirk that looked frighteningly like Teal'c's when Jack would try to explain some Earth custom and ended up confusing himself. Only far sexier than the Jaffa's ever was.

"I don't believe that will be the case much longer."

"Who are you? Spock?" Teyla gave Sam a curious look.

"No. I am neither male nor a fictional, emotionless character from Star Trek."

"You know who Spock is?"

"John and Rodney insisted I be well-versed on all of the forms of the story. They purchased the DVDs--"

"_All_ of them? You're only going to be here for two weeks. How are you going to find time to watch all five versions of Star Trek?"

"--and we watched the first season over the last few days."

Neither of them spoke for a moment. As Sam sat on the edge of the table, something occurred to her.

"What did you mean, you didn't think that it would be the case any longer?"

"I said _much_ longer. General O'Neill and Colonel Sheppard have decided to 'come out' to your leaders and, without them, many of Earth's allies will lose interest in maintaining an alliance with your planet."

"It's a pretty big risk," the blonde replied, missing the implication towards her old CO.

"It is. But I believe they will prevail. I have met no other race that has such laws as yours about who one may take as a lover simply because of their gender, and it should be abolished."

"You said it, sister."

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind."

"Do you wish to take that risk?" Sam looked up, confused.

"What? I don't think my input would hold as much weight as Sheppard or Jack's." As Teyla inclined her head and turned towards the door, something clicked. "That's not what you meant, is it?"

"No."

She bit her lip and sighed. "So, it's not a joke."

"I wouldn't joke about this."

"Yes. I'd love to go on a date with you."

The Athosian gave the astrophysicist a brilliant smile. "I will see you later, then."

Sam self-consciously grinned back. "Of course."

"I am glad."

Once the other woman left, Sam let out a nervous giggle and smiled. "So am I."


End file.
